By David Rose
I know I make it look easy, but it isn’t. I’m talking, of course, about sloth. One by one my friends are retiring from their life’s work and attempting the transition to retirement. Many find it is not the walk-in-the-park they though it would be.
In fact, three out of every five retirements fail in the first two years.* I try to mentor them because I feel it’s the right thing to do. I have a gift, like Beethoven or Michelangelo, and it would be a sin if I didn’t share it with the world. I am, after all, the Leonardo of the Lazy Boy, the Mozart of mañana.
It would be selfish of me not pass on the knowledge I’ve acquired throughout my years of avoiding work, no matter the sacrifice required. Toward that end I am starting the School of Sloth – S.O.S.
If you are retired and feel the urge to do something constructive with your life just send up an S.O.S. We have operators standing by eager to talk you down off of the ledge and back onto the couch.
Be the first to call and, unfortunately, I will have to put you in the remedial class. You obviously have a long way to go.
*This is not an actual statistic, just something I pulled out of my shorts. Looking up statistics would require work which would go against the school’s charter as well as my own personal credo.
As an artist, David Rose won both the Arkansas Governor’s Award and the Delta Award. His works are in the collections of Tim Robbins, Bruce Springsteen, & Susan Sarandon. As a writer he flunked every English class he ever sat in. Born in Woodstock, NY, he is very much a product of the 1960s and never really managed to escape that fabled decade. Visit Rose at www.amazon.com/David-Malcolm-Rose/e/B019GBJI9C/ and on Facebook.
