By David Rose
In my youth I pondered my future. I was almost certain that fame and fortune lay ahead for me, but did I have a fallback position on the outside chance that it did not? I did not.
And then one day, in 1986, I picked up the paper and found my answer. David Crosby – he of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and sometimes Y – had been caught down in Texas with dope and a gun. He was going away for 5 years. But then, after just a few months in stir, he was pardoned. Ronald Reagan said it was the proper thing to do because Crosby was a “National Treasure.”
National Treasure – it had a grand sound to it. I was determined to become one, but was at a loss as to how to do it. Certainly, the government could anoint me. I just had to get them on board.
I decided to nibble around the edges rather than taking on the government in one big bite. I went down to the post office and mailed myself several letters addressed to David Rose, National Treasure and went home to wait. The letters showed up the next day which I took as a sign that the U.S. Postal Service now recognized my National Treasure status.
In April, I signed the check to cover my income taxes, David Rose NT. I thought the initials gave it a touch of credibility, like QC in England. The IRS cashed the check and I was well on my way.
I had NT added to all my checks and wrote them to every entity that sounded official – the Arkansas Department of Motor Vehicles, National Geographic, and the Girl Scouts of America – that one was for cookies and I think it might have bounced.
The next 40 years were spent covering as many bases as possible and establishing myself as a National Treasure. Only recently did it dawn on me that there are no monetary rewards associated with the title. Still, it could be useful, as it was to Crosby, as a get-out-of-jail-free card. After all, the Girl Scouts might catch up with me yet.
As an artist, David Rose won both the Arkansas Governor’s Award and the Delta Award. His works are in the collections of Tim Robbins, Bruce Springsteen, & Susan Sarandon. As a writer he flunked every English class he ever sat in. Born in Woodstock, NY, he is very much a product of the 1960s and never really managed to escape that fabled decade. Visit Rose at www.amazon.com/David-Malcolm-Rose/e/B019GBJI9C/ and on Facebook.
