By Peggy Lindsey
We all desire to be loved, accepted, and included so we don’t have to be alone. Yet, in so doing, we smother our own uniqueness as we surrender to uniformity. We don our pretend faces just to be liked.
It looks something like this . . . Be outgoing, but not popular. Be well-spoken, but not overly intelligent. Be vulnerable, but hide your tears. Act perfectly, but make some mistakes. Show them your brains, but don’t come off too smart. Pay more attention, but don’t be too clingy. Be successful and look the part, but don’t speak about your accomplishments. Be real so they like you . . . just not too real.
Does wearing the mask make any difference? Chances are the ones we hope to impress are too busy worrying if they themselves are fitting into the mold to really notice us.
Acting inauthentically has its consequences. Consistently acting against our true selves can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and inner turmoil. Over time, not being ourselves just to please others, we begin to lose touch with who we truly are. Not being authentic damages relationships as well, violating the foundation of trust. And the tug-of-war between our true selves and our actions actually causes feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
As Brene Brown writes, “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” So, the key to fitting in with the right group is to be yourself. Your tribe will love you for you . . . no mask required!
Peggy Lindsey is a Professional Life Coach, Master Teacher of Arcing Light Energy Healing, and a Spiritual Mentor. Her passion is assisting women on their journey toward happy, healthy lives by empowering them to live more joyfully and consciously. She created her business, On Angels’ Wings Healing and Coaching, in 2012 and currently practices in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. She can be reached at 928-273-8447. For more info, visit www.OnAngelsWings.Healing.com/.
