In his newsletter, author David Hill recently published an article about this book by Stephen Panus.
o read the full article, click the link below and sign up for his newsletter.
By David Hill
I first met Jake, however briefly, in the infield of Pimlico during the Preakness. He was all dressed up and there with his father, my friend Stephen. He must have been about 15 years old. Stephen went on and on about Jake, bragging on him, honestly probably embarrassing him a little. It was a sweet moment.
On April 16, 2024, Stephen’s book “Walk On” came out. Ordinarily “pub day” is a big day for an author. This one is more complicated. There’s this line early in “Walk On” where Stephen describes another sweet moment between him and Jake, where the family gathered on their porch to say goodbye to Jake as he left for a weekend away with his girlfriend’s family.
As they all hugged, Jake said “You’re acting like you’ll never see me again.” It’s a line probably uttered by every teenager to reassure their anxious parents that everything is fine, they’re not little kids anymore. But it was in fact the last time Stephen and his family would see Jake. Two days later he died in a car accident.
“Walk On” is a book about grief, which Stephen admits is not a subject people like to talk about. And in particular, parents do not want to think about losing a child. It is, without exception, every parent’s deepest, darkest nightmare.
I’ll admit that when he first passed me an advanced copy of the book to read, I was petrified to read it. I can’t even watch movies or TV shows anymore that involve children getting hurt, let alone dying. But I’m glad I read it. And once I started it, I couldn’t put it down.
“Walk On” is about how people build themselves back after being destroyed by grief. It’s about the power of the bonds of family in times of crisis. It’s also about community, and how people come together to help those in need.
One of the things that really struck me about “Walk On” was how, in particular, other people who had experienced a similar loss, who had buried their own child (or children), felt this strong compulsion to reach out to Stephen and his family, even if they were complete strangers because they just had to. They knew what Stephen was going through. They knew what he needed. And honestly, they probably knew they needed it, too.
I know people in my family who have had to deal with this same experience. I’m sure there are plenty of other people who subscribe to my newsletter who have been touched by similar loss and grief. I am sending this because I know they will benefit from reading Stephen’s book. They may need it. And he may need them.
To purchase the book visit https://bookshop.org/p/books/walk-on-stephen-panus/21148474?ean=9798888242957.
To read the full version of this article and subscribe to David Hill’s “Letter from Hot Springs,” www.DavidHill.substack.com.
David Hill is a writer from Hot Springs, Arkansas, and author of “The Vapors.” His work has appeared regularly in “Grantland” and “The Ringer,” and has been featured in “The New Yorker,” “The New York Times,” “GQ,” and “New York Magazine,” as well as on “This American Life.” He lives in Nyack, New York, with his wife and three children, where he serves as the vice president of the National Writers Union.
