A baptismal at the UU Church was recently unearthed.
By David Rose
No one would ever confuse the Unitarian Universalist Church out on Spring Street with a mega-church. Our congregation is small and our church building is second-hand.
Recently, while moving the piano, the corner of a rug flipped back to reveal a rusted hinge and what appeared to be the edge of a panel. Excitement ran high as we moved some furniture and revealed a good-sized trap door.
I got a tire iron from my car, inserted it in the crack along the rim of the panel, and heaved. We held our breath in anticipation, like Howard Carter at the portal to Tutankhamun’s tomb, or at least Geraldo Rivera at the portal to Al Capone’s vault.
Several members of the congregation grabbed the edges of the trap door and threw it back on its hinges. It occurred to me that this was not unlike the beginning of an episode of Law & Order.
What we exposed was a hole the size and shape of a shallow grave, fortunately unoccupied. It was a little over 4’ deep, lined with concrete, and half filled with somewhat dubious water. A few of our members, refugees from other churches, recognized it as a baptismal. It was retaining water because the drain in one corner was clogged.
We don’t have a preacher out at our Hot Springs location, we all just take turns. The Sunday in question was Carla Sue’s turn to lead the flock so it seemed only proper that she should be the one to go down and try to clear the clog. After all, she was wearing shorts and sandals – our dress code is casual.
Carla Sue balked at the idea, so we called the plumber. We were informed that a clogged baptismal was not considered an emergency, and he would get to us eventually. In the meantime, anybody wishing to be baptized from the knees down, be sure to come and see us.
David Malcolm Rose is back again, this time as a painter. His “Life in the Time of Corona” series will be showing at the Artist’s Workshop Gallery on Central Avenue, in Hot Springs.
