By Alison Crane
November 13th is World Kindness Day. It is also my son’s 20th birthday. That his birth would fall on a day that encourages the whole world to focus on being kind to others is fitting, since he is one of the kindest people I know.
When he was younger, people would chase me down to tell me of some kind act he had done or how much they loved his compassionate ways. This was particularly gratifying since there was a time that I was not sure he was going to live past age four, because I was going to kill him.
My husband and I learned early on that we had to be very pro-active with him in the areas of maintaining a schedule and role modeling. In many ways trying to teach him to be kind made us better people, because our little guy was always watching and mimicking us.
Seeing our failures in a small boy was very educating. Fortunately, we had a whole army of people who invested in our son to help him grow and learn the ways of kindness and he proved to be a quick learner (for the most part).
One of the nicest things about kindness is that one can learn to be kind at any age and it really does not cost anything but a little effort and mindfulness. Here are some of the ways we learned were most effective at helping our children be kind.
- Role Model Kindness – Since we are our child’s first teacher, we teach them best by role modeling what we want them to do. This means the grownups share, use good manners, etc. If being kind is the “norm” for your home, then they will grow in that direction.
- Tone Is Everything – If our words are spoken with a tone of kindness and not harshness or sarcasm, then our children learn to respond in that same tone. Unkind words will easily come out of little mouths and often at the most embarrassing moments.
- Suggest Ways to Be Kind – Kindness does not come naturally for most people and suggesting actions that would be kind, such as sharing toys or helping someone to do a task, can help your children to see the possibilities. Reading a picture book about kindness can also help your child think of the possibilities as well as understand what actions are not kind.
- Engage in Small Acts of Kindness – Involving your child in an act of kindness for family members and others allows him or her to have a good feeling about being kind. Acts of kindness tend to multiply and grow.
If you would like more ways to teach your child about kindness, consider trying our Family Time Tips at https://www.uaex.edu/life-skills-wellness/personal-family-well-being/parenting/. Follow the Garland County Extension on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/GarlandExtensionHomeLife, or call 501-623-6841, for more parenting tips. “A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.” Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh)
Alison Crane is a Family and Consumer Sciences Agent with the Garland County Extension Service. The University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture offers all its Extension and Research programs to all eligible persons without regard to race, color, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, national origin, religion, age, disability, marital or veteran status, genetic information, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer.
