Guest Writer, David Rose
By David Rose
I’m delighted to hear that my rants are being posted on The Springs Magazine Facebook page. Look me up and “friend” me. But, before you do, you should know that I have a few simple Facebook rules. OK, maybe it’s more than a few. Perhaps Facebook Manifesto would be a better way to describe it.
- If you are eating a gourmet meal in the South of France please keep in mind that I am eating, on a good day, at a Waffle House. A little empathy wouldn’t hurt.
- No proof reading.
- No stream of consciousness posting. This is not Ulysses or some other thousand page Irish novel.
- No pictures of yourself with a boat, motorcycle, sports car or a dead animal. Yes, fish are animals.
- No streaming videos of River Dance, Ice Capades, soccer or other equally boring events.
- No cat pictures. My cat is a most tedious creature. I don’t want to see pictures of my own cat, let alone yours. It goes without saying that no pictures of your cat in a boat, on a motorcycle, playing soccer or River Dancing are acceptable.
- Get serious someplace else. I don’t banish people for being extremists, I banish them for having no sense of humor. It works out pretty much the same.
- Congratulations on your new grand baby. One picture per/child, per/year should cover it nicely.
- No reminiscing about the good-ole-days. Trigger warning – There were no good-ole-days. You just think they were good because you were young.
- If you are larking about London while I’m sweltering here in Arkansas do not mark your position on Google Maps. I have access to a drone.
In a blast from the past, David Rose, author of plenty of satire, and former guest writer to The Springs Magazine, offers his take on the world.
