Being Social When You Don’t Want to Be

One suggestion to improve your social connections is to write down your social goals, such as “I will call a friend once a week”

By Alison Crane
Being socially disconnected has a mortality impact that is similar to the impact of smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Not feeling connected to others can raise the risk of heart disease, anxiety, stroke, dementia, depression, and premature death, according to findings by the Surgeon General. Loneliness is more than just a bad feeling and it affects our mental and physical health.

Isolation and loneliness are more often attributed to the elderly. But in a 2022 survey, only 39% of the respondents said they felt very connected to others emotionally and some of the highest rates of loneliness were among young people. 

While most people recognize the importance of being socially connected to others, the task of maintaining social relationships and interactions can be made more challenging by our own personalities and preferences.

Some people find social activity energizing. Other personalities can be mentally and physically drained by socialization. A depressed person may feel like being alone, but social isolation can actually feed the depression. Maintaining or developing our social connections has many benefits, both for physical and mental health, and can even improve academic performance. 

Try these tips for improving your social connections:

  • Schedule activities and events in advance and put them on your calendar to eliminate the ease of saying “no” to a last-minute invitation.
  • Try a support group for others who may be facing similar challenges to create a network.
  • Write down your social goals, such as “I will call a friend once a week” or “I will say ‘hi’ to the greeter every Saturday.
  • Take a class to learn something new and meet people with similar interests. (The Garland County Extension Service offers a variety of classes, programs, and clubs for all ages.)
  • Reach out to someone you know who is lonely and could use a friend.

Loneliness can lead to long-term “fight-or-flight” stress signaling, which can negatively affect immune system functioning and actually increase inflammation. Social engagement can be challenging, and it does require some effort, but it is worth it to have a better health outcome. For more information about ways to improve your social engagement and health, contact the Garland County Extension Service at 501-623-6841 or email

acrane@uada.edu.

Alison Crane is a Family and Consumer Sciences Agent with the Garland County Extension Service. The UofA System Division of Agriculture offers all its Extension and Research programs to all eligible persons without regard to race, color, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, national origin, religion, age, disability, marital or veteran status, genetic information, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer.

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